One of the things I most love about spiritual companioning is that I get to bear witness to someone “coming home” to themselves and to the Divine Presence in and around them. What I mean by that is that I get to walk alongside others as they befriend parts of themselves they had distanced from, explore a spirituality that feels nurturing and alive, and step more fully into their True Self.
Sometimes people assume that spiritual direction, the traditional name for the discipline I practice as spiritual companioning, is about leading someone somewhere, helping them find God, or soothing all their doubts. But spiritual direction is really more like helping someone find a backpack and supplies so they can go on their own wild journey, then being there with them when they encounter obstacles, witness vistas of beauty, or need a reminder that it is okay to get a little lost while searching for Home.
At Healing Phases, we understand this movement toward Home through a shared framework of Relief → Safety → Trust → Home. In Coming Home to Yourself, Kari Eyer introduces this framework as a way of understanding how healing unfolds across the different forms of care we offer. Through spiritual companioning, I see each of these phases take shape in the relationship between a person, their True Self, and Divine Presence.
Relief
Coming Home begins with understanding who we are and accepting ourselves where we are.
When people first come to see me, they often express feeling a little lost. They may be struggling with guilt for asking the questions they are asking or for leaving behind a faith framework that wounded them or no longer makes sense. They may feel anxious, guarded, or unsure whether their questions and experiences will be welcomed.
Our work together invites them to begin with self-compassion. Instead of treating uncertainty as evidence that they have failed or wandered too far, they can begin to accept that where they are is part of their journey. When they no longer have to fight against their questions or hide parts of themselves, they often begin to breathe a little more freely. This acceptance can create a sense of relief and make room for something new to emerge.
Safety
Inviting another person into self-compassion and listening with nonjudgmental ears creates a context of safety. After all, how can we feel brave enough to begin a journey of self-discovery or spiritual exploration if we do not feel safe enough to be honest about where we are?
This experience of safety may begin with the presence I offer. In spiritual companioning, there is no need to arrive with the right answers, follow a particular spiritual path, or silence difficult questions. We sit together with an open, contemplative heart and make room for everything that is present.
As individuals explore what Divine Presence means to them, they may gradually discover enough safety to listen for their soul’s deepest longings, desires, questions, gifts, and wisdom. They may feel less guarded and more able to remain present with parts of themselves they once avoided or judged.
Trust
These experiences of safety with the True Self and Divine Presence can become what are often called “touchstones.” The more often we experience these moments, the more a foundation of trust begins to form.
It is like building a pathway for our feet. When we feel lost on the path or forget our True Self, we can look back on previous touchstones and remember how Divine Presence held or guided us before. We can remember the relief of self-acceptance and the experience of being met without judgment.
Over time, we may begin to trust our own questions, longings, and inner wisdom. We may also grow more able to tolerate uncertainty without abandoning ourselves. The path may not become perfectly clear, but we become more confident that we can continue walking it.
Home
Home does not mean that we never feel lost, uncertain, or afraid. It is the experience of being able to remain present with ourselves and meet what we find within with greater compassion, curiosity, clarity, courage, and calm. These are some of the qualities that Internal Family Systems associates with the True Self.
From my perspective as a spiritual companion, our True Self is our True Home, and our True Home is inseparable from Divine Presence. Connection with the Sacred often becomes a pathway back to this deeper Self.
As we become more familiar with Divine Presence in and around us, we may feel less afraid of our own questions, more able to listen to our inner wisdom, and more grounded in who we are. We begin to discover that even when the path is uncertain, Home is something we can return to within ourselves.
One Journey Home
When Amy, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, came to me for spiritual companioning, she was new to the area, new to her job position, and questioning her path.
In our monthly sessions, Amy began to find relief from her anxiety through practicing self-acceptance. This helped her experience greater safety in connecting directly with God and with certain saints who were meaningful to her. These touchstones with Divine Presence enabled Amy to trust what her soul was drawing her toward: a new life and vocation that she deeply desired but had been afraid to embrace.
The transition to her new life was a long one, and doubts and insecurities often arose along the way. But Amy continued practicing a return Home to herself. There, she could remember her soul’s deepest desires, reconnect with the courage, clarity, and calm she experienced through Divine Presence, and ultimately say yes to the unfolding of her True Self.
If you find yourself questioning your path, feeling far from your True Self, or longing for a spirituality that feels safe and nurturing, spiritual companioning may offer meaningful support. Deep listening, self-acceptance, and the nurturing of a contemplative spirit can create the groundwork for discovering your True Self and your own connection with Divine Presence. Through that connection, you may begin to feel more at Home within yourself, wherever you are and wherever your wild journey takes you.
If this resonates with you, consider reaching out to explore whether spiritual companioning may be right for you.
*What I call Divine Presence, others might call God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Universe, Unconditional Love, Mother Earth, or something else. Each of us has our own language for speaking about the experience of connecting with what is beyond us, and each of our experiences is a little different. I use Divine Presence as an umbrella term and seek to honor the wisdom found in all traditions, as well as the experiences and beliefs each person carries from their own lived experience.
About the Author
Annette Garber is a certified Spiritual Companion (Spiritual Director) who offers presence, curiosity, and compassionate listening to those exploring their spiritual lives. Through her work at Healing Phases, Annette supports individuals seeking meaning, connection, and a sense of belonging to themselves and the Sacred, Both in-person in Reading, PA (Exeter), and virtually throughout Pennsylvania and beyond.
